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(First published in The Meeting Professional, the official monthly publication of Meeting Professionals International - MPI. Learn about membership in MPI or subscribe to The Meeting Professional magazine at www.MPIweb.org. All rights reserved.

2004
September

Positive Words

Why is it that you can say the same thing as your colleague, yet your colleague gets a positive response and you receive a less-positive one? It could be that the words you use reflect a less-than-positive expectation or outcome. Incorporate positive words into your messages when you communicate.

What are positive words? They are words that “feel” good, reflect a can-do expectation, and imply a belief that it is possible to achieve what is to be achieved. Examples of positive words are: can instead of cannot; do instead of do not; when will you instead of would you; we expect instead of we would like.

Use positive words in your letters, proposals, contracts, e-mail, and when you speak. They plant subliminal messages to the reader or listener that “no” is unacceptable and that you expect results. Positively!

Bonus gift: Find a list of positive words you can use in your communications at http://www.winspiration.co.uk/positive.htm.

2004
October

Body Language

Steer a conversation like you are steering a 600-pound motorcycle…through your body language. Motorcycle riders are taught to push the handlebars in the direction they want to go rather than to turn the front wheel. While this may seem awkward, the maneuver requires less strength to accomplish and it works. To go left, push left; to go right, push right. The more we push, the tighter the steering around curves.

You can steer a conversation using your body language. Look more attentive by leaning towards the person speaking and they will be encouraged to continue talking. Mirror the other person’s motions and hold a stance similar to theirs and they will feel that you are in sync with their words and messages. Step back a step and cross your arms while frowning and you signal disapproval or disagreement, causing the speaker to hesitate, stop, or question your reaction. Nod your head while asking a question and the other person’s answer will more-likely be “yes”.

Next time you are engaged in conversation, try steering the direction using subtle body language and imagine yourself maneuvering a 600-pound two-wheeled vehicle with relative ease.

Bonus gift: Research specific body language signals at http://members.aol.com/doder1/bodylan1.htm.

2004
November

Running Business Meetings

Timing is everything when running business meetings. While you work hard to detail and manage schedules for large, formal meetings and events, small business meeting timing concerns are often overlooked. Develop a process for running business meetings that is as time-tuned as your formal events.

Schedule meetings at the end of the day; before meals; at odd times (9:12AM or 3:22PM for example); or schedule several meetings back-to-back to limit the time for any one meeting. Document definitive start, stop, and agenda item times and stick to them. Ask someone with a watch to serve as Time Monitor to publicly notify everyone when to move on to the next agenda item. Start on time every time. Develop a reputation for prompt starts and people will fall in line with your habit. Plan ahead for needed supplies and tools by communicating with meeting participants ahead of time. Set up A/V equipment before the meeting.

Manage the timing of your small business meetings with the tenacity with which you manage your formal events. Each time!

Bonus gift: Check your bookstore for How to Run a Successful Meeting in Half the Time, by Milo Frank. ISBN: 0788168274.

2004
December

E-Mail

Wheelies wow them but you tend to fall down! Apologies to the Weebles™ wobble ditty. Did I get your attention? Wheelies are dangerous show-off maneuvers on motorcycles where the rider drives the motorcycle with one wheel in the air and one wheel in contact with the road. A lot of wheel-spinning is involved (pun intended).

E-mail tends to emulate the wheelie wheel-spinning by going on and on, traveling dangerously to incorrect receivers, and carrying messages inappropriately. You can avoid doing e-mail wheelies using the following guidelines.

Keep notes to one screen-length so that the receiver need not scroll down the screen to read your entire message. Use blind carbon copies when sending to multiple addressees to limit the addressing the receiver sees before getting to your message. Make your subject line capture attention. Edit your distribution lists once a month or before you use a list if not used regularly. Copy-and-paste text you want to send to others rather than forward notes to avoid sending information not intended for sharing.

Think twice and review your messages before you hit the “send” key to ride safely with e-mail communications.

Bonus gift: Explore e-mail etiquette tips at http://www.emailreplies.com/.

2005
January

Emergency, But Is It Yours?

“Before you leave, would you please handle [fill in the blank]? It’s an emergency!” Usually you hear these words just before you leave the office for the day or go on your week’s vacation. Next time you hear these words, ask yourself, “Whose emergency?” Someone else’s poor planning does not your emergency make.

Your business is full of “situations”. Plan and communicate well to effectively manage most of the challenges you encounter. Of course you have stress, over-committed times, and unplanned issues. What I am talking about are the situations where someone else brings you what, to them, is an emergency when it is not necessarily your own. Avoid making the emergency your own.

Make it a habit to ask questions when situations are brought to you. Define exact due dates and dependencies. What effect will your action – and inaction – have on other areas of the business or other people? Does someone you report to – a manager or client – deem the situation an emergency? Do you care? What other commitments are you balancing for which this additional one is just too much to effectively handle?

When “It’s an emergency”, ask questions to determine whether the situation really is YOUR emergency.

Bonus gift: Find two great articles – other than my own, of course – with “how to” tips on handling other people’s priorities and managing your own time at:
(1) www.lawyerslifecoach.com/articles/story_7.html and
(2) http://www.svconline.com/mag/avinstall_matter_time/.

2005
February

The Handshake

Networking seminars typically include a session on The Handshake. The American business custom of greeting people with a firm handshake was questioned quite a bit over the colds and flu season. The Donald and his “Apprentice” popularity contributed to the collective consciousness over the health threat in shaking another person’s hand. The publicity about how we pass germs to each other when we cough or sneeze, then reach out and touch someone’s hand can have you practically seeing those microscopic buggers standing by the side of the road of your hand’s lifelines waiting to hitchhike onto the hand of the person you greet.

What’s a person to do in a networking situation with the venerable handshake under attack? Here are some alternative greeting tips.

• Make direct eye contact when you first speak. Nod slightly and give a hint of a smile.
• Keep business cards handy. When you approach, make a barely-perceptible bow and offer your business card while introducing yourself.
• Wave modestly by opening your palm outwardly and make a single pass at a wave when you acknowledge someone.

The important aspects of any greeting are to show openness, honest caring about the other person, and respect.

Next time you witness two bikers passing each other on the road, watch their left hands. You will most likely see them wave or hold their left arms out or down from their sides in greeting and acknowledgement. That’s the Biker Handshake or wave. No hand sanitizer needed.

Bonus gift: Find additional protocol tips at http://www.protocolconsultants.com.

2005
March

Lists

Perusing bookstore shelves is a favorite pastime when it is too cold to ride my motorcycle. Upon finding an entire section of books consisting of journals and lists, I wondered whether the publishers (can we really say writers when pages are primarily blank?) had encountered my Mother. She is the Queen of Lists and I have inherited the habit.

Lists are powerful tools requiring minimal financial investment (unless you buy the hardback journals I saw). Lists help you organize your life, business, office, schedule, and – yes – your love life. I cannot imagine your profession without hundreds of lists per person, what with the intricacies of your planning processes. Lists help you keep things in perspective such as:

• Pros and cons of a situation that feeds decision-making.
• Required items to purchase to eliminate overspending.
• Objectives and learning points of an education session to ensure learners accomplish what they need to within their allotted timeframe.

Keep a small notepad with you at all times to jot lists when they come to you – sometimes at the most inane times of the day. After all, you need to do something with all those leftover promotional notepads and pens from your last event!

Bonus gift: One list-making resource for list lovers is http://www.listlovers.com/.

2005
April

On The Same Channel

A biker and a trucker are driving down the road. No, seriously. This is not an off-color joke. Both the biker and trucker have CB radios tuned to Channel 19. Both can clearly send and receive messages to each other because they are on the same radio frequency despite their disparate vehicles and radio manufacturers.

Each of us has our own channel through which we best receive and internalize messages. In various contexts these channels are referred to as learning styles, sensory receptors, neurolinguistic programming, or multiple intelligences. To communicate more clearly, determine the primary channel – visual (sight; eyes), auditory (sound; ears), or kinesthetic (touch; motion) – through which your message receiver processes messages. You can then transmit your message on that same channel to ensure the best reception.

Pay attention to the words a person uses to find their clearest channel. While the following examples are not hard-and-fast rules, they serve as clues to a person’s primary mode of receiving and processing messages. Frequent use of terms such as “I see” and “I get the picture” indicate a person is likely a visual receiver. “I’m all ears” and “That sounds like a plan” suggest auditory reception while “I need to get a feel for that” and “I grasp the situation” typically come from kinesthetic receivers.

Once you learn the other person’s primary channel, send your message on the same channel. “Let me show you” works best for visual; “I’ll tell you this” works best for auditory; and “Wrap your arms around this idea” hits home for kinesthetic receivers. Tune into others’ channels and you’ll find they tune into your messages more clearly.

Bonus gifts: Two resources to learn more about this topic are:

• http://www.nwlink.com/~donclark/hrd/vak.html (a short self-assessment)
• Email Sylvia@springboardTraining.com with “iNFO_NOTE request (sensory channels)” in the subject line for a .pdf handout.

2005
May

Business Cards

Practically every motorcycle owner who purchases a bike from a dealer finds a way to personalize their machine. Some can afford only handlebar fringe or a unique saddlebag to separate themselves from the other factory-made bikes of the same model. Others essentially strip their bikes and create new ones.

Your business card is your means for personalizing your brand and stating your uniqueness. You can express your true personality or create a virtual business identify through your business card. Here are some tips to make your cards more effective.

• Your card should bear your name, position in the organization, the business name and logo, address, and information about how you can be contacted. If space is extremely limited, a web URL and phone number are more important than an address as detailed contact information can be placed on your web site.
• Use a standard size business card – 2inches by 3.5inches. If your card is too large to fit a card case it will end up in the back of a drawer on in the trash. Think about how many cards you receive in the course of your business and what you do with them!
• Use card stock that people can write notes on. Glossy and colors are expressive and memorable but you want recipients to be able to add their own notes directly on the card to better remember you.

The purpose of a business card is to introduce yourself and invite communication with the person to whom you give your card. Make it clear, memorable, and informational.

.Bonus gift: Learn more about creating your brand at http://www.springboardtraining.com/article_brand_you.html.

2005
June

Listening Skills

When was the last time you listened to someone? I mean, really listened instead of simply hearing them? We are so inundated with information and messages during the course of our days that we’ve become immune to really listening.

Practice your listening skills the next time someone speaks to you using these techniques.

• Listen actively. Maintain eye contact with the person speaking to you.
• Participate enthusiastically. Ask questions and pay attention to the answers before you formulate your own response.
• Show that you are listening. Lean slightly forward. Nod your head periodically. Smile.
• Wait for the other person to finish speaking. Avoid interrupting them.
• Be in the moment. Avoid thinking of the five other things you should be doing while the person is speaking.

If you do not have time to listen at the moment, politely excuse yourself and say so. Do not make it a habit, though. The next time, you may find yourself needing someone to listen to you.

Bonus gift: Learn more about how to be an effective communicator at http://www.springboardtraining.com/articles___stuff.html.

2005
July

They’re Waiting for You

Time management classes teach you how to juggle the commitments you make. The classes don’t seem to cover what to do when you drop one of the balls you’ve tried to keep up in the air. What do you do when you find yourself running late – for whatever reasons – and you know someone is waiting for you at your next appointment?

• If at all possible, take the trouble to apologize in person. Tell your client how long you are likely to be delayed. If you are away from your office, ask a colleague to do this for you.
• Pamper the waiting person if your delay will only be a few minutes. Offer refreshments and reading material. Offer the use of your land-line telephone so that your client can be productive by making calls without using their cell minutes.
• Reschedule the meeting if you anticipate a delay of longer than 15-to-20 minutes. Do not keep someone waiting longer. If you cannot get away from the urgent situation delaying you, explain the situation, apologize, and schedule another meeting.
• When you return, call to express regret for wasting your client’s time. Show respect for their time as well as your own.

Your top priority when you regain control of your schedule is to make amends and restore goodwill.

Bonus gift: Learn more about how to effectively manage time at http://www.springboardtraining.com/articles___stuff.html.

2005
August

The Eyes Have It

Where you look is where you go. On two wheels – whether motorcycle, bicycle, or scooter – where you fix your gaze tends to be the direction towards where you unconsciously steer.

Eye contact creates a strong connection between people. When your eyes connect with those of another person it is said that you each look through the window to the other’s soul. How can you create a sincere and trustworthy impression without unnerving the other person with the intensity direct eye contact can generate?

• Make “soft” eye contact. Look into the other person’s eyes, then occasionally shift your gaze to another part of the person’s face.
• Fix your gaze on a person’s face at the center of the triangle created by the two eyes and nose.
• When in a group of people, look at each person in the group for approximately six seconds each before moving to the next person. Continue switching your eye contact throughout your group communication.

Sometimes cultural or socialization factors cause people discomfort with direct eye contact. If you sense such discomfort, make frequent – but short duration – soft eye contact.

Bonus gift: Learn more about how to communicate effectively with others at http://www.springboardtraining.com/articles___stuff.html.

2005
September

Never Know Until You Ask

My 90-year-old mother just started physical therapy to build strength in her legs. She is attempting to rid herself of the cane with which she now walks. Just before we left the doctor’s office I returned to the physical therapy area and asked about alternatives to the recumbent bicycle the doctor recommended. At 90 years of age my mother could use equipment either for the next ten years (I come from solid stock!) or only the next month. One never knows.

After I asked about alternatives to the expense and space such equipment requires, one of the Physical Therapists momentarily disappeared. He returned with a small contraption with pedals. He noted that it had been in the storage closet for months waiting to be discarded. He preferred giving it to someone who would use it over simply trashing it, but no one had asked before now. And there I was…asking.

As Mom and I exited through the waiting room, more than one person inquired about the contraption in hand. They exclaimed how useful such a device could be to them. Until they saw me with it they would never have thought to ask for something like it.

What have you missed out on by not asking?
What’s the worse that can happen if you do? Hear “no”?
You never know until you ask.
More often than not, I hear “yes”.
It’s not luck. Assert yourself.

And just ask.

2005
October

Loud Pipes

You can hear them from a distance. The rumble of a cruiser or high whine of a sport motorcycle. Loud pipes are either annoying or they are welcome warnings depending on individual points of view. Ask a loud pipe motorcycle owner and you will most likely hear the justification that loud pipes save lives. One undisputed fact is that loud pipes are heard.

You can be a loud pipe and be heard yourself. The question is, which type are you: annoying, or a welcome warning? Being a loud pipe is simply asserting yourself and making your thoughts and ideas known to others. The following suggestions help you become the welcome warning.

• Speak up using a helpful rather than accusatory tone.
• Remain objective rather than subjective. Keep away from personality attacks or blame.
• Approach your thoughts, views, and ideas from your point of view. Use “I feel”, “It seems to me”, “I have an idea”, or “I think”, for examples.
• Relate what you have to say to what is in it for the other person. Your idea must offer a benefit to those to whom you tell in order for them to care about the idea.

If loud pipes save lives, then be a loud pipe and make your contribution heard. You could be the saving voice for the next situation you encounter.

2005
November

Mentor

A new motorcycle rider learns the basic skills and safety procedures for riding in a motorcycle safety class. After earning a license, the new rider builds on the basics by riding with experienced riders. Experienced riders teach the advanced road, track, or trail skills that make newer riders successful riders.

When a new person joins your team in your professional field, one hopes they have the basic knowledge and skills needed to be a productive member of the team. By working with you and other experienced people, the new person gains the expertise and experience that helps them be successful team members and individuals. How can you be an effective mentor to another when you are busy with your own professional demands?

• Delegate some of your workload to a new person to free yourself and help them at the same time.
• Give specific instructions and be exact with deadlines and expectations.
• Establish checkpoints along the way where you evaluate specific, measurable results so as not to have surprises at the end.
• Give feedback using the sandwich approach. Tell something positive. Tell what can be improved or made more effective. Then end with something positive and encouraging.
• Suggest additional resources and study alternatives for further research and knowledge-building opportunities.

The more you help others succeed, the more successful you become.

2005
December

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Impromptu Presentations

When a situation arises that requires a fast response while you are moving at 70mph on two wheels, your reaction had better be immediate and effective.

When your manager or client asks you on the spur of the moment for a status update, or asks that you present your idea for consideration to a group of people, your presentation had better be effective and seem like it was well developed. You can prepare to present information, ideas, data, or status with very little forewarning by heeding the following presentation guidelines.

• Keep the A-B-Cs in mind. Develop a short (A)attention-getting opening. It might be a leading question, a surprise statistic, a humorous situation, or a statement of an immediate problem, for examples. Develop three key points for the (B)body. Present a call to action and summarize the key points in the (C)closing. This three-part presentation structure is a consistent winner in terms of effectiveness.
• Develop the three key points in the body into mini-presentations that can stand on their own if you need to eliminate one of the points. Questions and time limitations sometimes prevent you from covering all the points you plan to make.
• Tell a short story or use a recognized (by your audience) analogy to illustrate points. When people “see” a visualization of the points that they hear, they invoke more than one sensory input and retain the information longer.
• Jot the main points to remember on paper and distribute a single page as a handout or note-taking sheet.

Impromptu presentations are still planned and prepared, albeit in five minutes or a half hour’s time rather than over a period of days. Volunteer to make impromptu presentations as much as you can because practice helps you build confidence with moments’ notice presentations.

Bonus gift: Practice making two-minute impromptu presentations, called “table topics”, by joining a local Toastmasters club. Go to the Toastmasters International web site at http://www.toastmasters.org to learn about this leadership and public speaking organization and to find a local chapter that meets near you.

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